It's Monday, Alright
by King of Eli
Summary: "Arthur, I need you to take off your pants." Arthur goes into labor with Alfred's child; hilarity ensues. The Brotherhood/Hetalia: The Children crossover. Rated for language, birth scene, and shounen-ai. Oneshot.


**Hetalia: The Children: Oneshot: It's Monday, alright**

Today was a good day for the "medicine crew" that day. Liz was walking about her office, humming "Take me or leave me" from Rent, Kiku was busy sorting medicines, Jonathan was dozing off with Rocky and Kayla was re-reading "Eldest," when suddenly there came cries.

"Wanker!"

"I'm sorry!"

"This is all your bloody fault! If it weren't for you I wouldn't -ow- be in this situation right now!"

"I said I'm sorry..."

"Sorry doesn't fucking cover it! Ow, bloody hell that hurts!"

The source of the two voices was soon revealed as Alfred walked through the door, carrying a very unhappy Arthur in his arms. The Englishman had a tight grip on Alfred's bomber jacket, making it obvious that he wasn't letting go anytime soon. Alfred, on the other hand, looked somewhat confused, frightened, and excited at the same time.

"Hey, uh, Arthur's in labor," Alfred muttered jerking his head down at Arthur, whose hands had moved to grab his tie and now appeared to be trying to choke him.

"I can see that," Liz murmured. Jay had awoken at the sound of the screams and was now sitting up, stormy blue eyes open and alert.

"Ah, miss...permission to leave now?" the teenage boy asked, putting a hand over his mouth. Liz nodded at him.

"Yes, if you want." she sighed.

"I'm leaving too," Kayla announced, standing up to follow Jay. Liz had different plans, however, and grabbed her by the back of her hoodie, succeeding in stopping her and choking her.

"No, you're staying here," Liz said mock-cheerfully, plopping her down in a chair by the wall.

"How come he gets to leave?" Kayla growled, crossing her arms at Liz.

"Because he has a sensitive stomach."

"Sensitive stomach my ass, I see the games he plays and the videos he watches. Blood and gore and all kinds of stuff."

"What I mean is, he's sensitive when it comes to childbirth."

"So am I!"

"No you're not, you were here when Mitheel was born."

"So was Matt, and L, and Near, and Light..."

"Yeah but you were holding Mello's other hand."

"I just had sympathy for Matt and I was doing it so that he could still have a hand to play video games with, not because I wanted to!"

"Your argument is moot, you sit in that chair and don't move unless I tell you," Liz finished the conversation, tapping her on the nose as she turned and looked at Kiku, who'd let out a cough. "What now?"

"Could I perhaps leave too as well? I'm not sure if I'm ready to see this..." the Asian nation murmured, twiddling his thumbs.

"Nonsense!" Liz laughed as she put on a pair of rubber gloves (you know, like the kind they use at the hospital). "When you agreed to be my trainee, you agreed to be here no matter what. Unless something was wrong with you." Kiku looked ready to argue, but Liz wasn't finished yet. "Besides, Yao seems hell-bent on making you have his children, so you might just learn something from this."

Finally the girl turned her attention back to her two patients. Alfred had laid Arthur onto the hospital bed, where he'd proceeded to pass out, most likely from the sudden strain on his body. Liz was actually glad that he'd be able to get at least some sleep now; he wouldn't be getting a lot of it in the next few hours. "How long has he been contracting?" Liz asked.

"Uh, I don't know, not long...maybe, forty five minutes or so?" Alfred answered, looking worriedly at the sleeping Arthur. The Englishman groaned and bit his lip in his sleep as another contraction passed through him, and he gripped the bed sheets tightly.

"Okay." Turning back to Kayla and Kiku, who were both situated against the wall now, Liz was ready to give orders. "Kayla, I need all of the sheets and towels you can find. Get out there and find them. And make sure you come back!" she hissed.

"Alright, alright, I'm going," the brunette muttered, getting up and walking out.

"And don't just take your sweet time, _hurry_!"

"I will! God, you're such a wife..."

"Kiku," Liz said, turning to the Asian nation. "I need you to boil some hot water and to get some ice water. Can you do that?"

He nodded quickly and stood up, running quickly out of the room. As he left, however, a much too familiar voice called;

"Ah, is our dear Angleterre in labor?"

Liz's eyebrow twitched as she turned to see Francis sitting on the edge of Arthur's bed. A concerned Matthew was attempting to pry him away, but as soon as he saw Liz he spooked.

"A-ah! S-sorry miss, as soon as we heard Arthur was in labor we came as soon as we could!"

"Matthew?" Alfred called his younger brother over when he finally noticed him. The Canadian went over to his older brother's side quickly.

"You heard all that, didn't you?" he asked in his soft voice.

"Francis, I don't think it's wise to sit there," Liz muttered. "If Arthur wakes up with labor pains _and _you on the edge of his bed, I think it'll just make him even more unhappy, and we don't want that right now."

The Frenchman rolled his blue eyes and got up. "Well where else am I supposed to sit?" he asked.

"I don't know, maybe in a chair," Liz snapped, pointing at the chairs lining the wall. Muttering to himself, Francis took a seat in one, and not long after Matthew joined him.

Finally, Kayla returned, arms full of towels, rags, and sheets. "I got all of the ones I could find." she said, voice a bit muffled thanks to the cloth in front of her face.

"Good, set it down in the corner," Liz told her. Trailing behind the brunette was Kiku, holding two pots, one full of warm water and the other full of cold water.

"I got the water. Will this be enough?" he asked, setting them down on the floor near the edge of the bed.

"It should be," Liz replied.

Arthur finally started to stir from his sleep, opening his dark green eyes and moaning softly. "Ow, bloody hell..."

"Are you okay?" Alfred asked, taking the Englishman's hand in his own. "How do you feel?"

"I-I'm alright for now," Arthur replied, biting his lip as a contraction came and passed. "It doesn't hurt so much, but..." he trailed off, letting his sentence trail off.

"Is there anything I can do?" the American asked worriedly, sky blue eyes gleaming with fear and worry.

"Just stay here and don't leave," Arthur muttered, leaning his head back against the pillows. "I need you here."

"Well now that I have time to talk," Liz called from the end of the bed. "Arthur, I need you to take off your pants."

-(Five painful hours later)-

Five hours and four bed sheet changes later, Arthur was finally ready to push. On the second hour into his labor, he'd started screaming at Alfred again, and the blonde was really fearing for his life (and his reproductive organs) by the time he was ready to push.

"Alright, you can start to push now Arthur," Liz instructed from the bottom of the bed.

"Can you duct tape my eyes shut?" Kayla asked, turning to Kiku, roll of duct tape in hand.

"Um, Kayla-sama, I'm not sure that's a good idea. When you try to take the tape off, you could tear out your eyelashes, your eyebrows, and some of your hair," Kiku replied uncertainly.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take, now tape them!" Kayla snapped at him.

"You're stupid," Francis muttered to her, before turning to watch the scene before him.

"Uh, miss," Jay's voice called from outside the door. "There's a problem."

"I'm kind of busy right now, can you take care of it?" Liz yelled back at him.

"No, miss...it's an emergency."

"What's the problem?"

"Mello is void of chocolate, miss."

"So? Go buy him some more!"

"I don't know what kind he likes and I'm too scared to ask him because he's in a chocolate-induced rage."

"He likes anything, now go to the store and buy him some before he burns the whole place down," Liz muttered, rubbing her forehead and turning back to the problem at hand.

Finally, two hours later, more progress was made.

"She's almost here Arthur," Liz said reassuringly up to the Englishman. "Just a few more times, okay?"

The blonde nodded, squeezing Alfred's hand tighter. The American had suffered three broken fingers in the process and was most likely going to get another one before the child was born.

"Is it almost over?" the still blinded Kayla asked.

"I think so," Francis replied. Kiku had passed out long ago and was sitting limp in his chair. He was apparently too faint of heart to handle a birth.

Arthur let out a cry as he bore down on another contraction before falling against the pillows, chest heaving. Alfred swept a few strands of hair out from in front of Arthur's eyes, gently squeezing his hand. "You can do it," he murmured to him. "It's almost over." The Englishman looked up at Alfred, who looked down at him and smiled reassuringly. "You can do it Iggy."

Letting out a groan, Arthur sat up again, biting his lip. He let out another cry as he bore down on the next contraction before falling back, panting.

"One more time," Liz called reassuringly.

"Hey Francis, mind taking my tape—"

Kayla didn't get to finish her sentence as Arthur let out a scream that left everyone's ears ringing before falling back against the pillows on the bed, panting. He smiled as he heard the cry of a newborn, and Alfred leaned over, kissing his lover on the cheek.

"I'm so proud of you," he murmured softly, gently nuzzling into his cheek.

Kiku had leaped to his feet suddenly when he heard Arthur scream, then saw the sight in front of him, let out a soft chuckle and fell over backwards. Francis rolled his eyes and Matthew strained forward to take a good look at the baby.

After cleaning her off and wrapping her up in a blanket, Liz handed the newborn to her parents. Arthur smiled down at his daughter, and Alfred put one hand on Arthur's shoulder, leaning over to look at her. "She looks just like you," he sighed softly, smiling gently. It was true—the girl had a soft patch of her mother's blonde hair and her mother's dark green eyes, but she had inherited something from her father. There was one crescent-shaped strand of hair that refused to go down along with the rest of her hair.

"She's beautiful," Arthur sighed, before looking up at Alfred. "Al...we never did decide what to name her, did we?"

The American's sky blue eyes widened and he shook his head. "No, we didn't, did we?" he looked down at her, thinking for a moment. "I like Amelia."

"Amelia..." Arthur murmured. "That's the name of that girl from your place who flew the airplane, wasn't it?" he asked. Alfred nodded.

"Yeah, that's her. I know our daughter will be just as important, so we have to give her an important name," he announced. "Now what about her middle name?"

"How about Jane?" Arthur asked, gently stroking the newborn's soft blonde hair.

"Jane...I like that. Amelia Jane Kirkland-Jones," Alfred smiled, running a finger across her soft cheek.

From the other side of the room there was a tearing noise, then an "Ow, Jesus!" as Kayla rubbed at her eyes and face. "That hurt..." France was holding a strip of duct tape in his hand and smiling.

"Sorry_, mademoiselle_, it is what you asked for."

"Glad you could join the party," Liz muttered over in her direction. "How's Kiku doing over there?"

"Still passed out." the brunette replied. She walked over to Liz's side to view the happy family. "Think you'll ever be in that situation one day?"

"Not before you are," Liz replied.

"Well I think you'll be waiting for a while."

"Perfect."

_End._

[**AN: Ahhh, I'm so sorry x.x I've been writing one shots when I need to be working on chapter three of The Brotherhood. Well, as you can see from this oneshot, The Brotherhood and Hetalia: The Children overlap. Here's some vocab for you;**

Liz: the owner of the Mindbender's sanctuary. She has tan skin, curly brown hair and brown eyes.

Kayla: Liz's best friend. She has pale skin, curly light brown hair and hazel eyes.

Jonathan: Liz's other friend. He has pale skin, straight shoulder-length black hair and blue-gray/dark blue eyes (the intensity of his eyes varies depending on mood and what he's wearing)

Kiku: Japan

Alfred: America

Arthur: England

Francis: France

Matthew: Canada

Amelia Jane Kirkland-Jones: blonde haired with dark green eyes and America's Nantucket; **London, England**; girl (14 years old, but a newborn in this story)]


End file.
